Quite a lot has happened within the last few hours, well in my mind anyway.
Firstly, what's the point in leaving a comment to insult me on my blog when it's clear I have comment moderation on? You think I'm just gonna let a comment that is just a pure insult be posted? Are you that stupid?
Now, the one's who did comment appropriately are people like the 'anonymous' poster who put '- michelle' at the end. She was polite in her comment and asked a sincere question which I answered. Comments like hers will be allowed, comments just showing people being an ass will just get deleted. So seriously, don't waste your time.
Next, I'd like to discuss people claiming I need to go to 'therapy' or 'speak to councilors'. I've had enough of speaking to people who have no idea how I feel. What's the point in speaking to someone who doesn't even understand the basic concept of veganism (if they even understood it, they'd be it), let alone my other views? It'd only piss me off further and just be a waste of time. I have had depression on and off since I was a child, and even though I've been to various child and family guidance councilors (for other reasons, nothing to do with what I believe now), to general councilors, etc etc, I'm still struggling with depression. Tbh, the thing that's helped me most is venting my frustrations on this blog. Writing it down does help...probably why some people keep diaries. I dislike confrontation in real life so I bottle up my feelings. So of course it's going to build up and when someone pushes me to far (a la PPK and the likes), I let off steam in a huge way.
You can hate on me all you like and hate this blog but this is part of my coping strategy, whether you like it or not. Here I can vent about what I want, when I want and I don't have to put up with the unjust moderation of forums.
Anywho, went to the doctors today and he stupidly suggests more councilling (I explained why this is pointless earlier in this post) and changing my medication. Like fuck do I want to change it. The side effects of going from 20mg, to 40mg, then to the final 60mg were horrible. Each time the dose upped, the side effects were more horrible. I don't want to have to go through that shit again, especially when the medication might not help at all. I was lucky that my citalopram helped me somewhat first time round. Many people take a long time to find the right anti depressants for them.
Also, if you be hating on this blog and me, do so but don't take it out on my fiance. I don't take kindly to people dragging my loved ones into arguments (fiance and companion animals). So just don't do it. It makes you look an even bigger ass than what you already are.
Finally, to clarify a few things. I'm pro-human extinction. I'm pro-human death as long as it's for a reasonable reason. Killing or harming others because of gender, sexuality, race is just bloody pointless and shows you up to be a misogynist, sexist, homophobic, prejudicial twat. All humans are equal in terms of sexuality, gender, race, etc. All humans should die, but for PROPER reasons, not pathetic religious induced reasons.
And that's about it really...hmmm.
P.S. I love how some people believe contraception is 100% accurate. Because it's not and because people will continue to partake in coitus; protected and un-protected (not that it matters, babies can happen either way, just less likely too one way), people need to be sterilised. If you want children, adopt. Jeez, it's not that hard. Or adopt a rescue animal. Like children, but less expensive and more loyal. Cuter too, and much more fascinating than some human brat that kicks and screams when they don't get sweeties in a store...and so on.
Also, thanks for the page hits PPK, you're helping my google ranking for my sites :)
And rofl @ grammar nazi's. I don't care if I use the apostrophe wrong. I've never been able to get to grips with it's placement as 'ownership' and what not so I shan't bother trying. My point is still easily readable so no need to bother with being pedantic.
Anyways, that's it...for now.
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Yes, the world is awful. Yes, people do horribble, fucked up things - to each other, to the ecosystems in which they live, to animals, to pretty much everything they can get their hands on. But human extinction isn't terribly likely to occur anytime soon, and you're one of us. You essentially have three choices: go live by yourself in a cabin in the woods, keep doing what you're doing and be wildly unhappy, or try to make life in this society work for you.
ReplyDeleteClearly you want to be happier - you're trying the meds, you're trying to eat better, you have a significant other in your life. Messing with different medications is so fucking hard - it's the worst. You never know if it's going to help, or make you sick, or make you even more depressed. And doctors can say the most ridiculous shit. They're used to knowing everything, so if they come to something they can't figure out they just tell you the problem isn't there, or give you really brilliant advice like "stop feeling sorry for yourself." Gee, thanks - get that one in all that medical school did ya?
As far as counseling or therapy goes, the sad fact is that there are a lot of bad counselors and therapists. Sorting through them to find a good one is no less difficult, painful, or time consuming than trying to find the right medication. But honestly it can really be worth it, if and when you're ready to do the emotional work involved. A good therapist might be able to help you with whatever's been causing your depression, that's apparently been a problem for you since childhood. It's not a place to talk about your veganism or your feelings about the human race - your therapist should "get" you but whether he/she agrees with those things really shouldn't matter. Whether you're just upset about the state of the world, which is totally understandable, or you've had personal experiences which have left scars, he/she could help you find ways to cope with those feelings so that you don't have to be so unhappy all the time. *Not* change your mind about what you think, *not* make you feel like everything's OK or start agreeing with other people, *not* make you make different choices about how you live your life - just help you not to be so upset by the messed up shit that does indeed go on in the world. It's something worth considering, no?
Just for reference, I've been dealing with anti-depression and other meds and both good and bad therapists and counselors for about 14 years - for a pretty wide range of reasons.